Lost
by JellieMonkeh
Summary: In the end, Amon took Korra's bending and she never recovered. Unable to deal with her failure, Korra leaves behind her life as the Avatar to learn what it means to be normal. But the world cannot exist without the Avatar, and as it plummets into darkened chaos, Korra must decide whether to fight or hide.


**Author's Notes:** Hello my lovelies! This is my first (and maybe only) fanfiction for Avatar: Legend of Korra. I first started writing this after the first season, rather frustrated with how neat the whole thing had ended. I know it was because they weren't certain whether they were getting a second season at that point, but if they had, I wonder what they would have done with the story. Whelp, this is my take on that. This story explores what might have happened if things had ended differently for Korra and the others. I know it's years late, but I'm slow with my writing (as some of my other readers know). If you happen to still be interested in this kind of thing, please sit back and enjoy the drama-filled ride!

 **Summary:** In the end, Amon took Korra's bending and she never recovered. Unable to deal with her failure, Korra leaves behind her life as the Avatar to learn what it means to be normal. But the world cannot exist without the Avatar, and as it plummets into darkened chaos, Korra must decide whether to fight or hide.

 **Author's Soundtrack:  
** Forgive Us Our Trespasses by Audiomachine

* * *

Book One: Air  
Chapter Twelve: Endgame

* * *

Korra crouched beneath a table, listening intently to the heavy footsteps as they moved steadily closer, pounding against the aging planks of wood like death drums in her ears. A sheet of thin fabric was the only thing shielding her from the one person who could take everything. She prayed it was enough to keep her hidden.

Amon stopped in his tracks, listening, waiting, for any signs of movement.

Fear clutched her heart and stole her breath. Silently, she prayed to the Spirits.

And then he moved away.

Relief settled over her and she exhaled. They were safe.

Something cinched around her body, an invisible force squeezing around her like a vice and dragging her from beneath the table. There was no time to be surprised at her discovery, the excruciating pain of having her limbs pulled and twisted against her will too much for her to bear.

Through strained vision, Korra stared up at Amon, face hidden beneath the mask as he curled his fingers just enough to command her blood and halt its movements altogether. Her heart pounded wildly against Amon's hold, bursting to be free from his unyielding her teeth, Korra tried to keep from screaming in agony.

With a twist of his wrist, he pulled her body in unnatural directions, straining joints and tearing muscles. Feet dangling helplessly in the air, back bent to the point of snapping, Korra realized this was the end. She was going to die.

No, worse, he was going to take her bending.

Fire streamed from behind Amon in a wild arch, forcing him to turn his focus from her and avoid the threat.

"Let her go!" Mako shouted, charging at Amon and throwing fire in desperation and rage. The brilliant light of hope flickered to life. Two against one. Amon wouldn't be able to blood bend and put up a solid defense against Mako's attack.

Yet Amon easily took hold of Mako with his other hand and raised him off the ground, forcing his body to contort.

Korra struggled for control, to break free, but her body was an inferno, her veins like lava as she fought against his hold.

The ground came at her fast, her face slamming into the concrete. Amon brought her to her knees, bending her backwards. Calloused fingers gripped the back of her neck, forcing her to look up into the mask that had become the symbol of fear for benders everywhere - the mask that would be the last thing she saw as a bender.

"No!" she screamed.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. This wasn't how she was going to let it end. She was supposed to defeat him.

She was the Avatar.

She would win.

She had to win.

"Korra!" Mako called for her, but she couldn't hear him over the pounding of the blood that betrayed her.

Amon pressed his thumb to her forehead - a touch that seared her skin. A powerful, agonizing wave of heat coursed through her, all stemming from the pad of his thumb. She wanted to scream, but nothing came out, choked in the confines of her body controlled by him.

The sensation lasted for a few, tormenting seconds, but when Amon released his hold on her Korra felt all of the energy leave her body.

Exhausted, depleted, she fell forward onto the floor, unable to even catch herself.

"I told you I would destroy you," Amon stated, his deep voice filled with satisfaction.

Korra struggled to her hands and knees, struggling to hold herself up.

"Finally, you are powerless."

It couldn't be true. She couldn't have lost her bending. She was the avatar, she had to be the exception to the technique Amon was using.

With great effort, Korra lifted her arm, calling on her powers. They had to be there. Weak as she was, she threw a punch, trying to summon the fire from her core to her clenched fist.

But nothing came.

There was no fire. No water. No earth. It was just her, a normal, non-bending girl.

Hopelessness enveloped her and she collapsed pathetically on the ground.

Was this really it? Had Amon really won?

"Amon!"

Someone else had come. She couldn't see him standing behind Amon, but she could hear the anger and betrayal in his voice as he declared Amon a traitor.

One of his men had witnessed Amon's abilities, but it didn't matter. What could a normal person do against a bender?

Amon threw away his companion with ease, his final words of gratitude hollow. No matter who it was, Amon would use them to accomplish his goals, and anyone in his way was nothing but an obstacle to be removed.

How could she win against someone like that?

There was a bright flash of light, screaming, and Amon flying past her and into the wall. Two explosions followed, burying him in warehouse debris.

Mako knelt beside her, pulling her broken body towards him. Lifting her from the ground, he ran like a madman towards the exit. They were going to escape. They would be safe.

But she was leaving something precious behind.

"Mako," Korra's voice cracked, "My bending. . ."

His grip on her tightened. It was almost painful, her body aching from what Amon had done to her.

"Everything will be alright." His amber eyes were determined. "We just need to get out of here."

He threw his shoulder into a door and hurried down the stairwell, taking long leaps to put as much distance between them and Amon. Korra buried her face in his chest, wishing, hoping that this was all just a terrible nightmare. She would wake up with Naga curled protectively around her, supporting her while she slept. Her friends would be sitting around the happenstance fire built by Gommu, grumbling about the questionable stew.

But it wouldn't be alright.

She wouldn't be alright.

How could she be the Avatar if she couldn't even bend?

Without her bending, who was she?

* * *

The pounding in her head woke Korra from the darkness that had engulfed her. She was lying on something soft, covered by a heavy layer of warmth. The savory smell of stew wafted from another room, but it did little to encourage her appetite. Korra struggled to open her eyes and focus her gaze. Slowly, the blurs of blues and whites focused into the familiar shapes of a Southern Water Tribe room - her room.

She was home.

Nothing had changed while she had been gone, everything in exactly the same place. The worn wooden floor was lined with thick woven rugs. Posters of her favorite pro-bending teams hung on the wall. In the corner, a small fire kept the room warmed. She used to play with the flames, making them dance and take shape.

They would never dance for her again.

There was a painful tightening in her chest and Korra felt tears sting her tired eyes. Gingerly, she touched her forehead. The ghost of Amon's rough fingers pressed against the skin, the burning surge of energy raced through her veins before leaving her breathless. Clutching her chest, Korra gasped for air, desperate to be rid of the overpowering phantom that haunted her.

It was a nightmare. It hadn't been real.

It couldn't have been real.

Setting her jaw, Korra sat up and tried to expand the flames of the fire. Every muscle in her body protested under the strain until it was too much for her to bear. Hissing in pain, she gave up and fell against the frame of the bed.

She was powerless.

The girl who once lived here was gone, leaving behind nothing but a cold and empty shell.

Searching for the nearest thing within reach, Korra threw it blindly across the room with a frustrated scream. It struck the wall and shattered, leaving behind tiny shards of ice scattered across the floor.

Still, she felt no relief.

The wood-paneled door slid open and Korra's mother stepped inside. Her dark hair was a mess, stray pieces poking out from the ties indicating she'd been sleeping in them. Dark circles under her eyes showed her own sleep had been restless at best. But, despite her exhaustion, Korra's mother still managed to give her a warm smile. It didn't reach her eyes, however, the sorrow there unmistakable.

Korra couldn't face her, and pulled her knees to her chest, hiding in the nooks of her arms. Her mother said nothing as she closed the door. Quietly, she crossed the room before sitting on the bed, waiting patiently.

Korra weak fortress quickly crumbled and she threw herself at her mother, burying her face in her parka like when she was a child.

"What am I?" Korra asked with a whimper. Through all the years, the good and bad training sessions, the lonely days of isolation, her mother had always been there for her. With a comforting hug and wise words, she could brighten Korra's world. Now, more than ever, she needed them.

"You are my daughter, you will always be my daughter," she told Korra quietly, gently stroking the loose tendrils of Korra's hair. The confidence with which she spoke almost make it feel like it was enough.

Korra sobbed, clutching at her mother and her words as if they were her last hope of completely losing herself to the overwhelming darkness closing in around her.

"Korra."

Korra pulled away from her mother, quickly wiping away her tears before looking at Master Katara. The old water bending master's eyes were filled with pity. Shame forced Korra to look away.

"Don't be like that," Katara chided softly. "Come we will see if we can undo what Amon has done."

But several hours only saw the fire dwindle and Katara grow tired, sweat beading her brow and breath heavy. Rays of the morning sun began to filter through the window, chasing away the full moonlight and Korra's hope of recovering her bending with it.

"I'm sorry, Korra." Katara hung her head in defeat.

"Please, Katara!" Korra begged, grasping her hands. "I have to get my bending back! I can't live without being able to bend. I've been doing it since I can remember. I-" her voice cracked and tears blurred her vision. Katara wrapped her arms around her.

"I know this is hard for you, but there is nothing more to be done."

"What about blood bending?"

Korra regretted the words as soon as they were out. She knew Katara's thoughts on blood bending, and to ask her to do such a thing was selfish and cruel, but she was desperate. She needed to bend, she needed to be the Avatar.

Katara's eyes saddened and Korra felt the weight of her words press against her.

"Korra, for you I would try anything, but I never mastered the technique and I fear I would do irreparable damage beyond what has already been done." Touching Korra's cheek and wiping away a tear, Katara offered her a small, sad smile. "I would rather see you struggle with a normal life than risk killing you."

Korra choked on a sob. "Please?"

Katara pulled Korra into a hug and gave her only an apology. When Korra had calmed, she guided her to bed, tucking her in.

"Sleep. Then, you should see your friends. Their company will do you some good."

Alone in her room, Korra fought for sleep. Despite how heavy her eyes felt, dreams filled with wretched nightmares and aching memories kept sleep at bay. Lying in bed, she stared at the trappings of her room. Everything was a constant reminder of what she had lost, what she no longer was. They closed in on her, screaming at her that she no longer belonged. These things belonged to someone else.

She needed air.

Crawling out of bed, Korra put on her boots and walked to the door. She paused, hand pressed to the firm wood. Hushed voices seeped through the grain, just barely audible.

"There has to be something we can do," Mako insisted. Korra felt her heart warm at his determination to help her. He had done so much for her. When he could have abandoned her, he didn't. He brought her home, the broken person that she was. "Without her bending, Korra. . ."

Her blood chilled, all good thoughts disappearing.

Korra. . . what? Would be useless? Wouldn't be the same girl? Wouldn't be someone he could be with?

"We understand how you feel, Mako," Tenzin spoke with his usually diplomatic tone, "but it doesn't seem like there's anything we can do. I believe, given time, Korra will adapt and get used to living her life without her bending."

"And what about when Amon makes his next move? He's taken all of Republic City. It's unlikely he'll stop there." Lin's voice was harsh but focused. Even without her bending, she continued to be Republic City's chief of police. Korra wished she could be as strong as her.

"We need to figure out how to take the city back." As usual, Bolin sounded confident, like nothing in the world could stop them.

"It won't be easy," Tenzin declared. "Tensions between benders and non-benders are escalating across the world. It will be difficult to get the other nations involved when they're focused on keeping their own countries stable."

"They can't just sit by and let this happen! Can they?"

"Governments are tricky things, Bolin. The Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom still have their own domestic issues, and the Water Tribes aren't fairing much better. Assuming any of them want to get involved, they may be unable to. Republic City is just one city. When it comes down to it, they may not see Amon as a legitimate threat to be concerned with at this time."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"We can petition the leaders for their help, but governments are not known for their speed."

There was a loud thud.

Mako had hit a wall.

"Would they listen to Korra? She's the Avatar after all."

"Even if she were up for it, I don't know how much it would help. Considering the defeat in Republic City, it may only serve to make things worse. Instead of rallying together, they may only question her capabilities and judgment."

"Now wait a minute-"

Korra fell back from the door, Tenzin's words hitting her like a wall of iron. Tenzing himself was doubting her. Worse yet, he was right. Even with all the preparation, she had misjudged, miscalculated, and nearly gotten Mako captured along with her. She was a danger to her friends, to her family, to anyone around.

She had failed as the Avatar in more ways than one.

They were better off without her.

Rummaging through the trunk at the foot of her bed, Korra pulled out a bag, filling it only with what she thought would be essential.

The thought of leaving a note for her mother crossed her mind, but she needed to leave before someone came to check on her. Once she found a new place, where no one knew who she was, where she would only be known only as a Water Tribe girl, she would send a message.

Certain she had everything she would need for the journey, Korra pushed open the window. After checking to make sure no one was keeping watch below, she dropped her bag into the snow. Sitting on the ledge, Korra hesitated.

The window was nearly two stories off the ground. It had never been an issue in the past, but as a normal person, the drop was now daunting.

Glancing at the door to her room, she considered walking out the front, past everyone, without a word. But, she couldn't face them.

She was a coward.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself out the window. Falling through the bitter cold air was a strange thrill that ended in the deep snow with a thud. The snow as deep enough to absorb most of the impact, but a jolt of pain shot up her legs as she landed. Shaking off the sting, Korra stood and brushed the snow off her clothes and grabbed her bag.

Naga lifted her head as Korra approached. Sensing the atmosphere, she slowly got to her feet and greeted Korra with a gentle nuzzle.

Without explaining, Korra climbed up to Naga's saddle and guided her out of the open gates of the compound. Tears stung her eyes as the urged Naga to run faster across the frozen tundra and towards the unknown.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Thank you all for reading! Just as a note, there will likely be some inconsistencies between characters and environments since I wrote most of this before the second season had even been released. I'll try to catch inconsistencies where I can, but I'm likely not going to find all of them. Some may be intentional given the change in situations.

Please R&R! I would love to hear from you all how you are liking the story so far. I know not a lot has happened that's very different so far, but I'd still love to hear from you all.

Until next time!


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